Last night, I finally saw for myself why some Mums say they have the ability to eat their food very quickly.
It was a family of 6 having dinner. Grandparents, father next to the grand parents, young daughter (2 or 3?) next to father, mother next to young daughter and son (5 to 6?) next to mother. The boy was throwing a tantrum for some reason and was refusing to eat. The mum was trying to manage the boy, half cajoling, half threatening him to behave. The daughter was a little too young to eat on her own, so in between trying to feed the boy, the Mum was also trying to feed the little girl. At some point, the little girl must have felt that her Mum wasn’t paying attention to her, for she burst out into tears and wouldn’t stop until the Mum carried her. So now the Mum had to carry the little girl, feed the boy, feed the girl, and in between all of this, find time to eat as well. All this time, the Father just looked on, and continued eating his food.
There was only one point in time that other adult members helped. And that was when Grandfather put a piece of food in front of the Mum.
I don’t know why it is that the Father didn’t help beyond paying for the food. I think he did try to reprimand the boy, and he did play with the girl at the end of the dinner, but words are just words and I felt actions were more necessary and playing with the children is important but is just part of all the work of bringing up the kids. Perhaps everytime he helped he got an earful from his wife. Perhaps he just wasn’t the kind that helped.
I don’t know what the reason was, but I know that I refuse to end up like the wife–doing all the work of raising a child on her own.